Losing relationships to death feels strangely not bad to me.
Losing relationships for other reasons that shouldn't happen, like fights, feels bad.
It's like eating a cake. You eat and at some point there will be no more cake, and you can rest content. But if the cake falls to the floor while you are eating, it's sad.
This sounds like you're only thinking of people who die very old.
When my 99yo grandmother died, it felt natural, like it was the time for such things. She'd eaten all her cake.
When my 29yo sister died, it was completely different, even though her death was also natural and did not involve suffering (sudden cardiac death, because invariably someone will ask). Sure, she'd had some cake, but it seemed like most of it was ahead of her, and the cake didn't fall to the floor, it just sat there, uneaten and uneatable, which feels both sad and wrong.
At least if there had been a fight, there would be hope for reconciliation, or even if that weren't possible, we could still be glad to hear good news about each other's life. (Rarely does so much hatred endure forever that you can't ever be glad when good things happen to somebody.)
I felt nothing, I different. I had a great relationship with him.
Seeing my non-reaction, my mum said : "you can cry".
So I thought: "oh, so I should cry now, that's the appropiate thing to do in these situations", then I started crying.
Sure, there's nothing special about that. Many people are too young to understand the finality of death when they first encounter it. Death becomes harder the older you get. When my grandmother died this year I felt a much heavy series of emotions than just sadness. It's the finality of it that gets you.
Be careful, or they'll lock you up. The appropriate reaction to death has been determined, and deviations are considered at best a form of mental illness, and at worst a form of terrorism.
The appropriate reaction is the wailing and gnashing of teeth, an enormous amount of discussion, imitating as closely as possible the dress and decor of previous death gatherings that you have references to, varnishing, buttressing, and putting makeup on the corpse so that it looks alive, then looking at it longingly. If you don't do this you're a psychopath.
Losing relationships for other reasons that shouldn't happen, like fights, feels bad.
It's like eating a cake. You eat and at some point there will be no more cake, and you can rest content. But if the cake falls to the floor while you are eating, it's sad.