I agree that it is possible to get too passive, and I wouldn't advocate that. I guess it's a matter of learning what to push and what expectations to have. Honestly, what I do is rarely that different between pushing it and not pushing it. The primary difference is how I react to it.

I still hope I can get my side project to a reasonable level of completeness and people will have some interest in it. It's just that, now, my identity isn't tied up in it.

And maybe that's what it comes down to: is my identity tied up in what I'm trying to accomplish? Because if it is, and I fail, that makes me a failure.